For several months now I've been maintaining the blog by myself due to Melanie having her first baby, Caitlin working, going to school full time, and planning a wedding. Pretty much they've been really busy and haven't been able to contribute to the blog much. On top of trying to maintain the blog by myself I was trying to juggle my three callings in church, being a mother and taking care of a very busy 18 month old, trying to be a good wife and find time to spend with my husband and make him feel wanted and important, trying to keep the house clean, make dinner every night, keeping up with the laundry, loving and walking my neglected dog, maintaining friendships, trying to eat well and workout, work part time for my friends the Six Sisters' Stuff and getting geared up for their upcoming Build Your Blog Conference, and try to launch my bra consultation business. For me, this was too much. Add on top of that, I've been going through this stage of feeling really insecure about myself, my work, my blog, and my self worth. For months I've been comparing myself to everyone and everything, thinking my life was dumb, not fabulous, and just plain boring. I became sad and depressed when I heard of other people's successes and was feeling very jealous and envious because I wasn't feeling that successful in anything I did. I've been feeling this way for months.
Last weekend I've been storing up these feelings of failure, envy, stress and the feeling that I should be more on top of things and organized and be able to do more in my day. I had a breakdown. McKay found me curled up downstairs in the laundry room folding laundry sobbing and tears streaming down my face. He felt bad because he was leaving me for the weekend to go on an over night scout camp with the young men in our neighborhood. I told him all of my frustrations, my insecurities, and my woes. McKay told me that my blog was creating me into a monster and was destroying me, and the sad truth was he was 100% right.
I'm the kind of personality when I decide I want something or wants to start a new hobby, I put my whole heart into it and a lot of times go to the extreme and I don't give up until I get what I want. This is how my attitude has been for my blog. I wanted it to be successful and to have loyal followers who love me for being me and to swoon over my content and to establish a name for myself. Well, this is still my dream, but I have realized that I was putting my blog before my husband, my baby, my family, my friends, my passions and hobbies, and my duties as a wife and mother and all of this was making my life so unbalanced.
Since that teary weekend, I've decided that I need a break. No blogging. No social media. No nothing. Since this declaration I've felt so much better and happier since I've decided to do this. I've started to do things that I never had time for like sewing, doing some interior projects, actually playing with Amelia, taking naps, sleeping in, and not being on the freakin' computer 24/7.
I'm planning on going to the Build Your Blog Conference this weekend and I'm so excited to get away for two days and meet and mingle with very inspirational women, to have fun, let my hair down, and to learn.
I'm planning on taking some more time off after the conference. I don't know when I'll start posting again regularly. It could be in a week or two, or month. I don't know and don't care at this point. I do know I'll be back when I feel it's time. Thanks for being supportive of me and my passions. Thank you for your sweet comments. Thank you for reminding me why I blog is to help, inspire, and uplift others.
I love your blog! You ladies are creative and talented. I'll be here when you are ready to come back. No pressure, though. :) Good luck--that is a lot to juggle! :)
ReplyDeleteAnita, comments like these make me feel that my efforts are worth while. Thank you for this sweet comment.
DeleteI hear ya sister. The comparison thing stinks big time. Trust God and do what you need to do. I just hired my 2nd VA b/c I can't do this all.
ReplyDeleteHey Adrienne, comparing yourself other is pretty much the worst thing you can do. Thanks for the kind words and advice. You're so smart to have a VA. I would hire one in a heartbeat if I could!
DeleteCourtney,
ReplyDeleteThe Lord has blessed you with unbelievable talents that most people would give anything to have. You are a blessed in many ways and this is not a trail. You will find the balance in your life again and it's not the end of your dream. Your Dad and I are so proud of you and we are in awe of all that you do and accomplish everyday. We love you and know that McKay and Amelia are blessed to have each other. I love you.... Mom
I think it's pretty awesome my mom comments on my blog. Thanks mom, I love you!
DeleteSorry I meant to trial
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY understand and I will be here when you decide to come back. In the mean while I will be thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time with your family, friends and crafts.
xoxo
Angelina darling, you're so sweet. I loved you the moment I met you. I thought of you today. I've been preparing for the conference and thought I'd pull out the adorable notebook you sent me last year. I'm going to use it this weekend and going to feel so stylish when I write my little notes in it. Thank you for your friendship. It means a lot to me!
DeleteCourtney - I feel your pain, Sista! I often think how ironic it is that my business of coaching others to have happy, balanced, healthy lives will cause me to lose balance and happiness in my own life. It's all ebb and flow. Back off when you need to, pick it back up when you can. Hang in there! Life will go on, even if the pinning and posting slows down!
ReplyDeleteJenny, haha that is ironic, but it comes to show that anyone can have unbalance in their life, even the expert balancers. I can't wait to meet you. I need some of that happy gal to rub onto me!
DeleteIt is so hard not to compare yourself to others. That's awesome that you were able to take a bread & not care about it. I am sure it is helping a lot! Keep your chin up & I will see you later today!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, girl! I've had some of the same feelings this week and Max told me something similar (oh husbands!). I hope you are doing okay! I'm excited to see you today and remember I'm always around so we can go do something or you can drop Amelia off for a bit if you need a break! We're here for you!
ReplyDeleteBrit, were so much a like and so are our husbands! Thanks for your kinds words. So glad to have such a thoughtful and loving friend and neighbor just down the street.
DeleteI already told you how I loved that you were willing to share this, because I think so many people relate. I wanted to tell you, though, how much I absolutely love your blog. I truly don't subscribe to very many blogs (beyond my family and friend's personal blogs), and when I do, I usually skip over the posts, but with yours, I can't help but read every single one. I think you're an amazing person, and I'm so grateful that I've been able to get to know you a little bit! So even if you're feeling discouraged, just know that people appreciate what you write :) I hope you'll start feeling more refreshed after your break.
ReplyDeleteKatie, this means so much to me. Love you so much! What a great friend you are.
Delete