Motherhood and Sisterhood Time

You've probably noticed that for a couple weeks we've been MIA.  We've posted a few giveaways and our weekly link party on the blog but haven't really posted any new content on our site.  We're still alive and moving but have decided to take little break.

The past three weeks have been a whirlwind.  Melanie and the baby came into town so they could attend Caitlin's wedding, which is in two days, and spend time with the family.  So for the past three weeks the three of us, the two babies, and my mom have been spending every waking moment together.  It's been so much fun catching up with my sisters, holding that adorable baby, and just hanging out.  I seriously haven't done laundry for like two weeks and my house is a pig pen because I'm never home during the day.  So any of you robbers out there, please don't break into my house, haha.  

A month ago I attended SNAP!, it's a blogging conference in Salt Lake City and had a great time but left feeling a bit overwhelmed due to the thousand of new things I learned and wanted to apply to our blog.

When I got home from the conference, I really didn't have a drive to blog. So I didn't.  I've learned over the past year that I need to listen to my body and mind more.  If I feel stressed, tired, overwhelmed, or not passionate about something anymore, I need to listen and take a break.

By taking another blogging break it's made me realize how sometimes I miss just being a mom, and not having to worry about answering emails, taking photos, writing posts, scheduling social media, and feeling the pressure that I put on myself to try to manage the many other things I need to do.

Melanie, Caitlin, and I have had some heart to heart conversations these past weeks about the state of our blog.  We've felt for the longest time that our blog was really eclectic and we really didn't have a mission or a way to define who we are as bloggers.  We've come to a point in this journey where if we're going to continue Fry Sauce & Grits something needed to change.

We spend A LOT of time on our blog to create thoughtful and quality content, to post consistently, and to do the many things that bloggers are "supposed to do."  We're at the point where we don't care what we're "supposed" to do and want to focus on giving back by helping and inspiring others with our blog.

A couple weeks ago my sisters and I attended a blogging workshop where we learned how to create an elevator pitch for our business and blog.  While doing this exercise, we had an aha moment.  We were able to pinpoint what were really passionate about when it comes to our blog and a way to tie in all of our eclectic passions together that makes our blog make more sense.

That's when we decided we want our blog to have much more meaning, quality, substance, to be a source of inspiration for women, a place where women can come and feel beautified, and leave our blog feeling more confident.

With this aha moment we've decided to make some changes to our small little blog.  I'm excited to announce that we're in the early stages of redesigning our website to reflect this new philosophy of ours.  We're also not going to be posting as often, but by doing this we hope to create and write better and more beautiful content, and now that life will be settling down for all of us, we'll be able to dedicate more time to this mission of ours.

So thank you for being patient with us as we discover ourselves, make a lot of mistakes, and take some time to be with our families and with each other.  Your support means so much to us.  We'll be up and posting more consistently in the coming weeks.

Wanted to share with you some of the fun pictures we've been able to capture while Melanie and Scarlett have been in town.

Don't you like our makeshift Easter portrait studio right up against my parents fence?  These two cousins sure do love each other.

Reality Check

Okay friends:  It's time for me to be real.  I have been somewhat MIA from the blog recently.  Courtney has been running the show, so to speak.  I have been busy falling in love with and adjusting to our new addition.

I have been busy sniffing her head and baby neck rolls, kissing her face and singing her songs.  I have been busy trying to get cuddles in when she falls asleep after feedings.  I am just trying to soak it all in and enjoy it.  I love her so much.

Scarlett at church with daddy

I have to be honest, blogging is really hard for me.  It is hard for me to put myself "out there" so to speak.  I worry about what people might think.  A lot of the time I feel like what I have to say is trivial, or doesn't matter and so I talk myself out of saying it.  But this blog isn't meant to be serious,  it's an outlet for us to share our creative worlds.

One of the main reasons I have been hesitant about blogging is because when I read other blogs--I like to look at the perfectly styled and polished photos, the beautiful images, the "edited" lives.  And then when I go to create a post for my own blog, it never seems to measure up: my pictures are fuzzy because my camera isn't professional and my photog skills are lacking.  Sometimes I find out after researching a "great idea" that my idea isn't as original as I thought--it's been done before.

Sometimes I get writers block and I just can't find the words on a topic.  What I want you to know is that I started this blog with my sisters in order for us to have some fun, to keep in touch, and to learn a few things.  But blogging has proved to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.  Sometimes it takes me hours to edit things, to add in photos and links.  It is much more of an investment of my time than I originally considered.  But I'm not ready to give up.  So, I ask you to bear with me as I figure out how to be okay with what I'm doing.

What I also want you to know is that I always want FS&G to be just what it is.  We are working on a few things to give our blog a "facelift," make it look more clean and streamlined and we want to keep improving it.  But, we also want it to be genuine.  Our lives aren't always perfectly edited.  There are thousands of those types blogs already out there with artistic pictures and beautiful designs.  We are here to be us, and I need to be okay with that.  

Phew.  I needed to get that out of my brain and onto this blog. I already feel better.

What's in my bag?: New mommy edition

Call me a creep, but I love to see what other women keep in their handbags.  It is super interesting to me, and I think it can tell you a lot about a person.

You've probably seen those edited articles in magazines of what celebrities carry in their handbags, everything looks polished and pretty. Well, I wanted to share what I consider my essentials because as a new mom, I carry a lot less makeup and random things, and a lot more baby gear!

So, this is what I actually have in my handbag right now--my essentials.

On Becoming a Mommy

Scarlett Cay joined our family here on earth December 15, 2013 at 3:26 AM.

7 lbs 2 oz

21 inches long

Alert as ever

Likes to stick out her tongue

Has a heart-wrenching "sad lip"

Blue eyes

Ambiguous hair (dark brown on top, red on the sides, strawberry blonde eyebrows) We're still trying to figure out her hair.  It seems to be coming back in blonde, but who knows?  Her hair has been quite the subject of intrigue from both sides of the family.  Grandmas want red-headed grandchildren I guess.

Our first family photo

Let me start by saying I would like to apologize to my own mother for ever being sassy or bratty at any point in my life.  I now have a 10 week glimpse at being a mom, and--wow.

Something about becoming a mom has made me reflect a lot on my own mother and father.  It's a strange and humbling feeling.  I can't entirely put it into words, but I guess I now understand them more, and I feel selfish for not realizing sooner all they have done for me.  I've always been thankful to my parents, but now I can say I'm starting to understand just how thankful I should be.  It's not easy to care for a baby 24/7.  And I have only been at this new job 10 weeks.  It has also made me understand love in a way I never knew I could.  I feel closer to my Savior and I am so blessed he trusted me with such a sweet spirit. I will eternally be grateful for my precious baby.

The famous "Sad Lip"

I've thought through all the cliched things people tell you about having a baby:

"They grow so fast."
"Say goodbye to sleep!"
"Nothing can prepare you."

But, I can honestly say I had no idea how high the highs would be, and how hard I would feel the lows those first few weeks.  My body was raging with happiness one moment, and the next I could barely focus my thoughts in a sleep-deprived haze.  Scarlett didn't sleep longer than a couple of hours the first 3 weeks.  She would cry whenever you put her down or stopped moving her.  There were nights when Andrew and I took turns pacing the floors to calm her down.  She lost a pound from her birth weight, and I was desperately trying to breastfeed and recover from an unplanned Cesarean section.  Night after night she would cry after I put her down, and I would cry too as I struggled to get back out of bed and not pull on my incision.

After several visits with the doctor, I finally gave in to supplementing my breast feeding with formula.  He told me, "Melanie, formula is not the devil."  And you know what?  He was right.  I wanted to be able to exclusively breast feed, but my baby at 3 weeks weighed almost a pound less than her birth weight. The first night we offered her formula after breast feeding, she was a changed girl.  She relaxed, her body loosened, and she slept.  My poor baby must have been hungry for 3 weeks.  Hangry!

This brings me to why I think birth plans are BULL.  You hear all this junk about how you need to have a plan, and there is a checklist of things you need to "decide" before that day. BULL crap.

Yes, of course it's good to have an idea in your head of how your ideal birth would go.  But, does anyone's experience ever go exactly as they planned?  I wanted a vaginal birth.  But after 24 hours of labor, and pushing, and then "No, stop pushing", and then waiting to progress more, than not progressing, then doctor telling me, it's a C section now, or wait and most likely a C section later.  You tell me, what choice did I have?  Tell me how my birth plan helped me then?  If anything, I was disappointed.  I was upset because I did not want a C section.  I was upset because I wanted to exclusively breastfeed.  My advice?  Go into it knowing what is ideal for you, but planning only on doing what's best for you and your baby.  Because thinking that it will go exactly how you want it to only sets you up to be upset and nervous when it doesn't.  I still feel disappointment from not being able to provide my baby with only breast milk.  But when I really think about it, why should I?  She's happy and healthy and I'm doing my best.

I still am adjusting to my "new normal" and it hasn't been easy.  My clothes don't fit the same, I often leave the house with a pile of clothes on the bed that I have tried on, but they didn't work.  I'm trying to be patient with myself.  I know that I carried a baby and my body has changed, but it doesn't stop me from being upset sometimes.  I hate to catch a glimpse of my scar in the mirror.  And oh the stretch marks-another gem I get to deal with from having such fair skin.  They will fade hopefully.

People aren't kidding when they tell you, "Having a baby will change your life forever!" That's okay with me.  I wouldn't want to go back.  One of my favorite parts of having Scarlett has been seeing Andrew's interactions with her.  It is the sweetest thing.  He adores her and he's such a good daddy.  I'm truly blessed to have him.

I love how tiny she looks in daddy's arms

I'll leave you with a common scene from our household.  Dexter competing with Scarlett for attention.  He has been very sweet and curious, and sometimes I even think depressed.  He's adjusting though.

I can't imagine life without my Dohmie!

This is a sponsored post where I received compensation and was written by me on behalf of Dohmie for Mom it Forward.  All opinions are 100% mine.

When I saw that the Mom it Forward network was looking for bloggers to review and write about the Dohmie Serious Sleep Baby Bundle from Marpac that promises your baby will sleep better,  I was all over it! When I received the Dohmie, I liked how the design was simple, clean, and I noticed that it constructed with high quality material.  

The Dohmie creates a natural white noise to help babies fall and stay asleep, the rest of the family to sleep easier and/or carry on with normal lives and activities.  The Dohmie's sound is seamless and continuous because it uses electromechanical technology to create the natural sound of rushing air, unlike other white noise machines that work on a digital loop and cut off after a set period of time.

At the front it has a switch where you can make the noise louder or softer without having to adjust the Dohmie.  The cool thing is by rotating the cap and collar of the Dohme to allow different amounts of air to rush through these openings in different ways, you can create a variety of tones and volumes; therefore you can customize the sound to your babe's liking.

When I received the Dohme, Amelia was 14 months and I thought Amelia didn't have sleep problems, that's what I thought at first.  I decided I was going to give the Dohme a really good try and use it everyday during naps and when she went down for the night to see if I could tell if this little sound machine would make a difference in her sleep.  Within a week, I could tell a significant difference in her sleep patterns and most importantly, the routine of her sleep, and her behavior towards sleep.

One of the things I love about the Dohmie is how it helped establish a stronger routine when it came to going to sleep for Amelia.  Because I turned it on everytime I would put her down to bed, Amelia got into the habit and routine of when the Dohmie goes on, it's time for bed.  Seriously, as soon as I turn on the Dohmie, Amelia would calm down and pretty much pass out in my arms as I put her down to sleep.  I swear the soothing sound the Dohmie makes hypnotizes them.

Before using the Dohmie, it was a struggle to put her down.  There would be sessions of crying, screaming, and Amelia trying to climb out of the crib.  I was so used to her acting that way, and it didn't seem out of the normal.  Now, our sleep routine is SO much better.  It has made our lives so much easier because Amelia gets her rest and we do too!  It kills two birds with one stone.  Since I've used the Dohmie, she sleeps longer, she's on a better sleep routine, I feel like she gets the quality sleep she needs to grow, and gives McKay and I the much needed break when she's asleep.

During the holidays we went down to McKay's parents house and slept over Christmas Eve night.  I forgot to bring our Dohmie and the combination of sleeping in a different place, over stimulation from festivities, activities, and family, and not having the Dohmie was a recipe for an awful night of sleep.  She woke up every hour and I was to the point where I wanted to drive back home at 3 am in the morning.  I learned my lesson and now whenever we travel I bring the Dohmie and it helps Amelia to get a the rest she needs.  It's easy to travel with because it's small and lightweight.

I recommend the Dohmie as a baby shower, birthday gift for a parent, or just treat yourself to having better sleep for your little darling and you.

Check out the awesome reviews of this product here.  

For more information about Dohmie and serious sleep, please visit marpac.com.

Also, follow Dohmie on Twitter, Pinterest, and Facebook for all things baby and sleeping!

Six Money Saving Mama Tips from Rad Mom Cool Kid

Hey, I'm Briton from Rad Mom Cool Kid!  I'm excited to post at Fry Sauce and Grits today and I'm even more excited for Melanie and that darling bundle of babyliciousness in her arms! In celebration, I'm sharing my favorite money saving mama tips!

ONE: When my husband and I first found out we were expecting we were broke college students. Like we didn't take out student loans and were paying for everything up front kind of BROKE. Our grocery budget was $20 or less per week. Do you know how much a pregnancy test costs? Let's just say that we were able to buy ONE and it was the cheapest one at the grocery store. I think it cost $7. Do you feel stressed for 9 years ago me? What if it was wrong??!! A few years later we were a new kind of money-less. We were out of school but had just bought our first house!! I think we splurged and found a 2-pack pregnancy test for $12 when baby #2 was discovered. Then, I learned the best pregnancy test tip ever... Dollar Tree pregnancy tests are $1 and just as accurate as the ones at the pharmacy. With baby #3 I got a whole handful of them and they were all correct. Crazy right? Stop wasting $ on pricey tests! SAVINGS: about $6 per test

TWO: Target's store brand diapers are super cheap and super reliable. I have tried so many diapers over the years and these are the ones I always go back to. Also, I don't bother with fancy 'night-time' diapers or pull-up training diapers. I buy a size bigger for night-time if they get overnight leaks. With the pull-ups, I just don't see the point! I let my kids pee their pants, they feel how horrible it is, they stop doing it pretty quickly. I kind of feel like pull-ups drag the process on and on. SAVINGS: about $0.06 per diaper

THREE: Don't buy a high chair. They are big and hard to clean. My kids used a Bumbo- style chair with a tray attachment. They went straight from that to a booster with a tray. They are much easier to clean than a bulky high chair and you can take them on the road. SAVINGS: about $140

FOUR: Get the cheap baby monitor. $20 is all you need to get the monitor that will let you know if your kid is having a problem. I guess if you live in a mansion, you might need something stronger but, normal people- you don't need to watch your baby at all times and hear every single inhale and exhale. YOU NEED SLEEP so set up the basic monitor and close your eyes. SAVINGS: about $230 but the sleep is priceless

FIVE: Shop consignment and thrift stores for baby clothes. It doesn't work as well for older kid clothes because they get worn out before they're grown out of. Newborn-12 months is the perfect time to buy 2nd hand- you'll be surprised at how many items still have the original tags even! I always check our local kids consignment shop for tap and ballet shoes and leotards, holiday dresses, and winter gear- I keep the future in mind and buy bigger sizes and store them if they're high quality! SAVINGS: varies, but usually pretty dang great

SIX: Use Oxy Clean and Folex. Oxy Clean + water + stained baby/kid clothes + soaking overnight = brand new clothes. Do this when you unpack clothes for baby # 2 or when you get a bag of hand-me-downs. Even when you put clothes away squeaky clean, old stains will magically show up, but a good soak will fix everything! Folex is a carpet cleaner. It changed my life as a mother. A friend brought it over one morning after I facebook freaked out about hot pink lipstick all over my carpet and a certain white (white!) preschool stuffed animal that was visiting our home. It got it out! Hot pink waxy cheap lipstick out of fake white fur. I'll be a customer for the rest of my days after that. It costs under $10 and you can find it at home improvement stores and maybe Wal-Mart. The bottle will last a long time and you might want to worship me after you use it the first time. SAVINGS- depends on items being saved, but probably a whole bunch

What are your best steals and deals or tricks and tips when it comes to saving money with a baby? Thanks for hanging out with me today! Here are some of my favorite posts about life with little ones: travel with kids: 10 tips for survival becoming a 'yes' mom

A very important lesson learned

source

I've had this in my mind for a while and it wasn't until this week that it hit me like a freight train and felt like I really need to share.  What sparked me to write this was a couple nights ago I was doing the nightly dishes after dinner.  Amelia was running around screaming with her clothes off, diaper and tap shoes on; Winston (our dog) chewing on a rubber toy, and during all of this, my husband, McKay came up behind me and gave me a big hug and kissed me.  He'll never know how much that meant to me.  This action made me realize something that I've been longing for a long time, but realized that the package it came in was also a lesson learned.  

If I could sum up 2013 it would be described as hard, a lot of uncertainty, financially stressful, disappointing, and challenging.  You can read some of what happened to McKay and I here.  This switch in jobs and direction has caused us to live with a lot less.  

Slowly but surely I've come to the realization over these past months that I've noticed little but significant blessings in our lives because of this choice we made in McKay's career.  It kind of reminds me of this awesome talk.  

I'm human, I'm a girl, I have insecurities, and I'm not perfect. I struggle with wanting what I don't have.  I get in these moods when I find myself feeling bad for myself, feeling like a failure, and that my life is so insignificant compared to others.  Social media doesn't help this department sometimes.

A couple days ago I was checking my Instagram feed while waiting in the car while McKay bought a part at Autozone and saw a beautiful perfect picture of this girl I follow.  She's gorgeous, skinny, has fame, fortune, nice and beautiful clothes, is successful, goes on fabulous vacations, and seems like her life is absolutely perfect.  I looked at myself in the mirror and looked at a tired, greasy hair, and pajama wearing self momma and thought to myself how lame my life is.  

It wasn't until later that night when doing the dishes when McKay wrapped his arms behind me that I realized, what I've always wanted was right there behind me.  

I remember when we were first married and going through the first year struggles and thought that when McKay, out of the blue, comes up behind me and embraces me, that's when I'll know true love and contentment.   Weird, I know, but if you know my husband he isn't the most affectionate person in the world, so for him to do that, it's a big deal.

When we made the ultimate decision to choose family over career it seemed that we were taking three steps backwards in our lives.  But I've realized that we've made three jumps forward when it comes to my relationship with my husband, my small family, and the things that money can't buy. 

These past six months have been hard, but have been full of these little blessings.  One of these is feeling emotionally closer to my husband and realizing he's the the father and husband I've always wished and hoped I would have.  Feeling so grateful I was blessed with a beautiful, funny, healthy little girl who calls me, "Mum," and brings so much joy to our lives.  Also, I've noticed that since I've stopped thinking about me ad the things I don't have, I've been blessed with so many opportunities to show love and serve those in need. 

At times I wish we could have our old lives back where we didn't have to worry about finances, budgets, and having to do without.  But without these trials we've experienced, I know without a doubt we wouldn't know what it's like to taste what true have happiness can bring.  It can make bonds tighter and lives more meaningful.  I'm grateful I've been able to see these blessings in our lives and the way the man upstairs packaged them the way he did.    

Tips to Finding the Perfect Nursing Bra

This post has been in the making for a long time.  When I wrote the first part of my Bra Guide series, I was inundated with questions about nursing bras.  In this post I'm going to give you some simple, constructive, and easy to understand tips on how to find the perfect fitting nursing bra for you.  I'm even going to give you recommendations on my favorite nursing bras and where to find them, and answer your questions about how they should fit, when you should purchase one, and the debate over underwire vs non underwire.  

Finding a nursing bra doesn't have to be an awful experience.  Once you understand the basics of what YOU should be looking for in a nursing bra, it will be a quick and painless trip to your local bra department, boutique, or a click or two on your favorite online retailer store.

Grits Births A Southern Belle!

We're so happy and thrilled to announce that our sister Melanie, aka "Grits" had her first baby early Sunday morning.  After a very long labor we're happy to say that mommy and baby are doing well!  The babe of Birmingham doesn't have a name quite yet.  We'll keep you posted when the decision is made.  Sending our love and good vibes to Andrew and Melanie in Alabama.  Isn't she beautiful?!  She has red fuzz on her head!